WWA: The Inception

-10/26/01

-From Sydney, Australia

-Hosts are Jeremy Borash & Jerry Lawler

-WWA Commissioner Bret Hart opens the show, carrying a hideously ugly title belt. Bret looks good for being not far removed from his stroke. Bret says it's been a year since he was fired from "the WCW", and that he kept his promise to himself to stay out of wrestling for a year. Bret mentions being stuck in Australia during on 9/11. The ugly belt he's holding is apparently the WWA title, and it's going to be awarded tonight. Bret says he was never beaten in the WWF (ok then...), and then the last thing he remembers (literally) from WCW was being world champion there and not being beaten for that title either. Bret runs down the top stars of the time, and says whoever wins the WWA title will be taking the torch from him.

-Borash notes that every WWA world title tournament match will be a gimmick match, with the finals being inside a cage. It is so weird to see King at a non-WWE announce table. They run down part of the card.

-Match 1 for the International Cruiserweight Championship/WWA World Heavyweight Championship First Round Match: Juventud Guerrera VS Psicosis [Ladder Match]
-Juvy does his Rock impression before the match. Neither man is masked. Juvy immediately uses the ladder to crack Psicosis in the head. Psicosis gets busted open, and Juvy stomps on the wound. Psicosis throws Juvy onto the ladder, then drapes him across the top rope, before climbing the ladder and hitting a guillotine legdrop. Psicosis climbs the ladder as Juvy plays with his hair. As Psicosis gets his hand on the belt, Juvy hits the ladder with a springboard dropkick, sending Psicosis tumbling down.

Juvy climbs, then stops to go after Psicosis. Juvy grabs a second ladder from outside the ring, but Psicosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy's face when Juvy tries to get it into the ring. Psicosis slams the ladder onto Juvy, but then ends up getting whipped into it. Juvy sets up one ladder on top of the turnbuckles then climbs the other, before diving off onto Psicosis. They both climb, and Juvy hits a sunset bomb off the ladder. Juvy hits the 450, and then grabs the belt to win. This was a mess. Pretty much just a bunch of spots with no flow or psychology.

-The Nitro Girls....er, Starettes bump and grind. King of course goes nuts.

-Rove McManus arrives in a limo with Nathan Jones. They run into Lenny & Lodi.

-Elsewhere, Disco Inferno hands some backstage worker his credit card and tells him to "find two suits" to protect him.

-Match 2: WWA World Heavyweight Championship First Round Match: Konnan VS Road Dogg [Dog Collar Match]

-Konnan does his WCW shtick, then interrupts Road Dogg's when he tries to do his DX intro, then does it for him, then makes fun of Road Dogg for getting fired by the WWF. Konnan cracks Dogg with a title belt, then hangs him in the ropes. Konnan hits the rolling clothesline. Konnan starts touching the corners, which is apparently how this can be won. Nice of JB & King to point that out for us. Dogg crotches Konnan to block, but gets the same treatment when he starts touching corners. Konnan throws off the dog collar to distract the ref, even though this is supposed to be no-DQ, and hits Dogg with a crowbar. He hits an X-Factor and goes to do it again, but Dogg counters. Dogg hogties Konnan (doing the "doggy-style" taunt in the process) and touches all four corners, apparently shedding the collar in the process. The ref allows it anyway. This was pretty bad.

-Match 3: Devon Storm VS Norman Smiley [Hardcore Match]

-Norman gets a pop for coming out in a local basketball player's uniform. This is a non-tournament match. Storm gets crossbody for two. Storm slides right out of the ring, then takes a baseball slide right into a garbage can full of weapons. Smiley cracks Storm with the trashcan lid. Storm puts a chair on top of Smiley, then hits a slingshot splash, followed by a lionsault. Storm grabs a kendo stick but gets backdropped. Smiley goes for the Big Wiggle, but gets cracked in the head with the stick.

Smiley fights back, and pulls a table out from under the ring. Smiley does the Big Wiggle (making it the second simulated anal rape of the evening) and tries to suplex Storm on the table, but Storm counters. Storm somehow gets busted open. Storm splashes Smiley through the table. Storm charges Smiley, but takes a hot shot onto the guardrail. They fight onto the entrance ramp, where Smiley puts the trash can over Storm's head, and beats it with a chair. Smiley tries yet another Big Wiggle, but takes a mule kick to the junk. Storm hits a superkick. They are right at the entrance. Smiley hits Storm with a kendo stick, and Storm rolls off the ramp, and they go backstage.

Storm puts Smiley in a wheelbarrow (which causes Smiley to scream), and throws him into the Disco Inferno, who is talking on his cell phone. Storm sets a piece of guardrail on the ramp, and wheelbarrows Smiley onto it. Storm stacks two tables on the ramp and puts Smiley on top, then climbs the tron. Storm splashes Smiley through the tables. Smiley somehow gets the pin off that. Dumb finish. While nothing I would call "good", it was the best match so far.

-Backstage, Disco Inferno runs into the backstage worker, who has hired two guys in banana suits for protection. Disco is not pleased.

-JB announces that Juvy has cracked ribs, and cannot compete in the second round.

-Backstage, Stevie Ray is with Bret, who opens the battle royale to anyone who works for WWA. Stevie Ray takes way too long to realize that means him too.

-Match 4: WWA World Heavyweight Championship First Round Match: The Battle Royale

-Disco Inferno and Buff Bagwell are the first two to come down to ringside. Disco jumps Buff before anyone else can get into the ring. Stevie gets in, and cleans house. Smiley & Storm enter, turning this into a half-assed Royal Rumble. Lawler enters, talking Borash into joining him. Lawler holds Stevie for punches from Borash. A camerman enters. Storm is apparently eliminated. Slick Johnson and another ref enter. Some woman in a gold dress enters, gets into it with King, and eliminates herself. Borash was apparently tossed and rejoins the anounce table. The refs get eliminated, then high-five because they didn't die.

The cameraman somehow got tossed too. This leaves Bagwell, Disco, Lawler, and Smiley with Stevie. The other four gang up on Stevie and toss him. Devon Storm is TERRIBLE on commentary. The bananas wander down to ringside. King Big Wiggles Smiley, but takes a mule kick to the nuts. They eliminate each other to leave Disco and Buff. Storm keeps saying he has a crimson mask, despite having no blood on his face. Disco hits the Village People's elbow on Buff, but stops to dance, and gets tossed by the bananas. Buff eliminates the bananas to win. Ugh. Battle royales are generally unexciting, but this was bad on a whole different level.

-The woman who entered the battle royale is backstage with Rove McManus and Nathan Jones. McManus says the only stroke Jarrett is going to deliver is to himself back in his hotel room.

-Match 5: WWA World Heavyweight Championship First Round Match: Jeff Jarrett VS Nathan Jones (w/Rove McManus) [Guitar on a Pole Match]

-Nathan Jones' nickname is "The Front Row". Even the nicknames are awful. Jarrett does his WCW "Chosen One" shtick, and says he's going to stick McManus up Jones' ass. McManus joins JB at ringside. JJ pounds on Jones to start. Jones botches a tilt-a-whirl slam. JJ kicks Jones' knees to counter a chokeslam, but then walks into a big sidewalk slam. Jones batters JJ on the outside, then throws him back in. Jones hits a flying clothesline and makes his way towards the guitar, but JJ hits a low-blow, and grabs the guitar himself.

McManus gets in the ring, and predictably takes the guitar shot, then finishes Jones with the Stroke. Mercifully short. Wasn't too bad, actually.

-King calls out the banana guys. Before they can say anything, Lenny & Lodi interrupt. They say no one wants to see "two fruits" in the ring, and that they want to see Lenny & Lodi. Bret enters, and makes "Lonny" & Lodi VS Road Dogg in a 3 Way Dance. Well THAT's fair to Road Dogg.

-Match 6: WWA World Heavyweight Championship Semi-Final Match: Lenny VS Lodi VS Road Dogg

-Dogg immediately catches both with a clothesline in the corner, and they fall into doggy-style position. Lenny hits a legdrop, but Lodi stops the count. Road Dogg fights back, but the 'Blondes hit a flapjack/bulldog combo (which Lawler calls a 3-D). Lenny stops the count. Lenny sits on the top turnbuckle and spreads his legs, while Lodi bashes Dogg's head into the turnbuckle. Lenny breaks up the pin, then accidentally (?) hits Lodi with a missile dropkick.

Lenny & Lodi hit a double roundhouse kick, then pull each other off the cover. Lenny & Lodi exchange near-falls, then Lenny hits a moonsault (conveniently putting them in 69 position). Dogg hits the shake, rattle, and knee drop, then pins both to win, even though technically Lenny was covering Lodi. The West Hollywood Blondes makeup after the match. This was pretty much a gay joke disguised as a match with a shit finish to boot.

-Backstage, Stevie Ray interviews Buff. He says his match against Jarrett is going to be a "puppies, whips, and buff" match.

-Match 7: WWA World Heavyweight Championship Semi-Final Match: Jeff Jarrett VS Buff Bagwell
-The Starettes join Buff during his entrance, and the match is apparently a lumberjill (armed with whips) match. Buff keeps throwing Jarrett outside to get whipped. Jarrett throws Buff outside, but he gets some TLC instead. Buff throws Jarrett out again, but this time grabs a whip and attacks Jarrett. The girls go after Slick Johnson when he tries to intervene. Buff hits the Blockbuster and one of the girls makes the three count, but since she's not a ref, it doesn't count. Jarrett hits the stroke to win. On the plus side, no butt-fucking in this one.

-The blonde woman interviews Luna, who faces her husband the Vampire Warrior tonight.

-Match 8: Vampire Warrior VS Luna Vachon [Black Wedding Match]

-Vampire Warrior is the former Gangrel, in case you didn't know. Vamp doesn't want to hit Luna, only countering moves when he has to do so to protect himself to start. Vamp hits an atomic drop to send Luna outside. She grabs some kitchen utensils, and clambs some tongs on his balls. Luna grabs a cookie sheet and lays waste to Vamp, then throws down he wedding ring and spits in his face. Vamp gets pissed and hits the Impaler DDT for the win.

-The Starettes dance, as the cage is lowered for the main event, but are interrupted by Disco Inferno. Crowd calls Disco a wanker as he complains about being eliminated by the "two fruits". The fruits comes down to ringside and work Disco over. Disco scales the cage to try to escape. One of the fruits follows, but gets tossed off the cage and through a table by Disco.

-Match 9 for the WWA World Heavyweight Championship: Road Dogg VS Jeff Jarrett [Cage Match]

-Bret joins the commentary table. Dogg finally gets to do his DX intro. Fast start, and Jarrett gets the upperhand. Dogg fights back with punches, and hits shake, rattle, and kneedrop for two. JJ sends Dogg into the cage. JJ sends Dogg into the cage again, and struts. Dogg does the same to Jarrett, sans the strut. They climb the cage and slug it out on top of it. Jarrett climbs down, but it's pin or submission only. Dogg goes to the floor too, and they fight with the ring bell. Dogg busts JJ open with the bell, then sends him into the guardrail. Why was this a cage match again?

They go back into the ring, and Jarrett applies a sleeper. Dogg flips off Slick Johnson on the third arm drop, and fights out. Dogg gets a sleeper, but Jarrett counters with a belly-to-back suplex. Jarrett gets two off that. Dogg lands some punches and a big boot. The ref gets bumped (*sigh*), and Jarrett leaves the cage to grab his guitar. Jarrett KO's Dogg with the guitar, and applies a sharpshooter to piss Bret off. Bret stops the bell from being rung, despite Dogg tapping out.

A second ref gets bumped. Dogg applies the sharpshooter and Jarrett taps, but Bret won't let the match end that way. Bret takes off with the belt. Jarrett hits the stroke to become the 1st WWA World Heavyweight Champion. FUCK. THIS. SHOW.

-Bret confronts Jarrett after the match and locks him in the sharpshooter to end the show.

-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was pretty craptastic. E-fed style booking trying way too hard to be "clever". Way too much bullshit on this show, and the wrestling couldn't carry it. This was pretty much the proto-TNA, especially from the weekly PPV era, with all the gimmick matches and constant references to other promotions. Plus, if McManus paid more than $5 for that title belt, he overpaid by about $4.50.