TRANSCRIPT:
Punk: John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortably as you can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you, I like you a hell of a lot more than most people in the back. I hate this idea...that you're the best. Because you're not...I'm the best. I'm the best in the world.
There's one thing, you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as “Dwayne” (The Rock) though, he's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Oops, I'm breaking the fourth wall.
[Waives at the camera.]
I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated ever since that day because...Paul Heyman saw something in me that no one wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar...and he split, just like I'm splittin' but the biggest difference between me and Brock is that I am going to leave with the WWE Championship.
[Long pause.]
I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they are just that completely imaginary, and that the only thing that is real is me and that day in and day out for almost six years I have proved to everyone in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, and even on commentary, no one can touch me! And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted. I'm not in any movies and I certainly don't get to be in any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not in the signature that's produced at the start of the show.
I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, and the fact of the matter is I should be, and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick.
Oh hey, let me get something straight you people who are cheering me right now...you are just a big a part of me leaving as anything else. You're the ones sipping those collector cups right now, you're the ones buying those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the airport you shove it in my face, so you can try to get an autograph so you can sell it on e bay because you're too lazy to get a real job.
I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th and after that, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling, maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. Hi Colt Cabana, how ya' doin'? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a poke on the wheel, the wheel is gonna' keep turning, and I understand that, but Vince McMahon is gonna' make money despite himself. He is a millionaire when he should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with gland-handling, non-sensical [word taken out] yes men like John Laurenitiis who are going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I'd like to think, that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon's dead, but the fact isit's...it's going to get taken over by his idiotic daughter and doofus son-in-law, and the rest of his whole stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. You know we've been doing this whole bullying campaign?
[Microphone is cut off, Punk yells at the camera while still being muted. I can make out him saying “I'm the best you got! I'm the best in the world!” until there's a sudden cut to black.]
BEST PROMO EVER!!!
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