-7/14/91
-From Baltimore, MD
-Opening video puts us in the perspective of some random dude who walks into the arena and buys two tickets for the show. This is all set to music I remember from ESPN's NFL Primetime.
-Hosts are JR & Tony
-Match 1: PN News & Bobby Eaton VS WCW Television Champion Steve Austin (w/Lady Blossom) & Terrence Taylor ["Skywalkers II" Scaffold Match]
-Terrible choice for the opener. Tony openly questions why Austin, especially as a title holder, would risk his career in this match. Two ways to win: toss your opponents or capture their flag. Eaton and Taylor look to start, but Taylor says "fuck that", and crawls back and begs Austin to start. Austin lands a couple weak punches, and Eaton comes back with a kick and a modified X-Factor. Heels back Eaton up, but then beg off when News gets in front.
News easily makes it to the heels' section of the scaffold, and fights with Austin. Crowd chants for Eaton while he fights with Taylor on the face side. News lays like a slug while Austin stomps on him. News holds the heels back while Eaton grabs their flag, and walks it across for the win. Austin gets hair spray and blinds the faces, and no one seems to know the match is over. Everyone climbs down, and there's a short skirmish in the ring to at least provide some action here. This was just fucking awful. I can't stand scaffold matches, and this one, with the "capture the flag" rules, took away the one thing anyone would want to watch one of these for: someone falling/getting thrown off the damn thing and getting hurt.
-JR & Tony note that WCW has tried to re-sign Ric Flair, but he turned them down, so it will be Luger VS Barry Windham in a Cage for the vacant World title.
-Eric Bischoff interviews Paul E. and Arn Anderson. Paul says Rick would break Paul in half and shut him up for good if Paul had any other partner than AA. Arn delivers a good promo about how if they're locked in a cage like criminals, then they'll commit a criminal act.
-Tony & JR talk about the World title match, and a couple other matches on the card to kill some time.
-Match 2: The Diamond Studd (w/DDP) VS The Z Man (w/some random women)
-Zenk leaps over the top rope to lay out both the Studd & Page. DDP low-bridges Zenk to turn the tide. Studd throws Zenk into the guardrail. Studd wins a slugfest. Zenk gets a cross-body for two. Studd locks in an abdominal stretch, and uses the ropes for leverage. Zenk gets out, but misses an elbow drop. Studd hits a chokeslam for two, but his arrogant cover gets reversed for two.
Studd pounds away, but Zenk hits a kick to the face to send Studd outside. Zenk sends Studd into the guardrail. Zenk hits a missile dropkick for two, as DDP breaks up the cover by slapping Zenk across the face. Zenk attacks DDP, and gets caught with a belly-to-back suplex for the pin. Match started out hot, but died a painful death when Studd took control.
-JR & Tony preview the next match.
-Match 3: Oz (w/The Great Wizard) VS Ron Simmons
-Very slow start. Oz hits the one big move Nash had at the time: the big boot. It takes Simmons three tries to clothesline Oz over the top, but the crowd explodes when he finally does. Oz controls a test-of-strength, but Simmons escapes, and manages to throw Oz. Simmons misses a dropkick to allow Oz to regain the advantage. Oz hits a side slam for two. Simmons hits a couple low tackles, then finishes with a flying shoulder tackle. Ugh. Early Kevin Nash is NOT good. Not good at all.
-JR & Tony preview the exploding of the Rock 'N' Roll Express.
-WCW TOP TEN (w/NFL Primetime music):
10. Johnny B. Badd
9. Ron Simmons
8. The Diamond Studd
7. El Gigante
6. Arn Anderson 5
5. Bobby Eaton
4. Steve Austin
3. Sting
2. Barry Windham
1. Lex Luger
-Match 4: Robert Gibson VS Richard Morton (w/Alexandra York)
-The fight starts on the entrance ramp. Gibson controls the first couple minutes. Morton keeps stalling to frustrate Gibson. Morton goes after Gibson's previously injured knee. Morton rips at Gibson's tights to expose the knee. Small "Morton Sucks" chant breaks out as Morton continues to work the injured knee, and eventually applies a Figure 4. Morton keeps methodicaly working over the knee.
Gibson fights back, but gets cut off so Morton can work the leg some more. JR notes that he was expecting an entirely different match. Gibson hits a DDT out of nowhere to wake up the crowd. Morton goes back to work on the knee. Gibson manages to toss Morton off the top, and hit an enziguiri. They fight on the entrance way, and both go for a dropkick at the same time and miss. York distracts the ref, and Morton KO's Gibson with the computer for the win. Psychologically sound for the most part, but this was way too long if it was going to be 90% Morton working the knee. The knee didn't even play into the finish after all of that. This was like the first Michaels/Jannetty match or the first match between the Hardys, in that what the crowd wanted and expected and what they got were two entirely different things.
-Eric Bischoff is with the Young Pistols & Dustin Rhodes. Dustin tries to channel his dad a little bit, but it doesn't sound natural, no pun intended.
-Match 5: WCW 6 Man & United States Tag Team Champions The Freebirds & Badstreet (w/Big Daddy Dink) VS The Young Pistols & Dustin Rhodes [Elimination Match]
-FIRST FALL: "Freebirds Suck" chant to start. Dustin mocks Hayes' moonwalk. Dustin hits slams and elbows on all three members of the Freebirds' team. Freebirds stall. Some Freebirds fans chant "Dustin Sucks". Match speeds up for a few seconds, and the faces clean house. Freebirds stall for so long Tony wonder why Smothers doesn't clobber them from behind. Brad makes a blind tag, and sits on the top turnbuckle for an eternity before he nails Badstreet with a flying clothesline off the top. Freebirds cross Smothers up, and Badstreet low-brideges him.
Badstreet and Dink work Smothers over on the outside. Back in, Hayes locks in a sleeper on Smothers. Freebirds slowly work over Smothers. Smothers gets a sunset flip on Badstreet for two. Hayes hits a big left hand and struts. Smothers blocks a DDT and tags in Armstrong. Match breaks down. Armstrong tries to unmask Badstreet, but ends up taking a spectacularly fucked up double DDT from Badstreet and Hayes for the pin.
-SECOND FALL: Smothers charges Hayes and gets backdropped over the top. Randy Anderson DQ's Hayes for that. Haven't seen that one called in a while. Hayes rightfully complains that all he did was duck.
-THIRD FALL: Smothers gets pounded on. Smothers makes the tag, but Anderson doesn't see it, and Garvin and Badstreet finish Smothers with a much smoother double DDT.
-FOURTH FALL: Dustin immediately pins Garvin after a big clothesline.
-FIFTH FALL: Badstreet gets the advantages, but Dustin manages to punch Badstreet as he comes off the top, and hit a flying clothesline. Dink distracts the ref, so that only gets two. Dustin quickly hits a bulldog on Badstreet and a dropkick on Dink at the same time to win the match. Finish was hot, but that first fall was way too long for what they were trying to accomplish.
-Match 6: The Yellow Dog (w/Man's Best Friend) VS Johnny B. Badd (w/Teddy Long) [If Dog loses, he must unmask.]
-JR & Tony note that the speculation is that Dog is Brian Pillman. A fan holds up a sign for Badd, which JR jokes that he hopes the fans parents don't see. Dog calls Badd "Johnny B. Gay", which JR notes does not represent the opinion of WCW, then leads fans in a "cigarette" chant. Pillman lands a nice dropkick and a STIFF chop to send Badd outside. Dog gets a crucifix into a sunset flip for two. Teddy picks a bad time to conference with Badd, and Dog dropkicks Badd in the back, sending him into Teddy.
Badd wins a chop exchange. Dog misses a cross-body. Badd comes off the top with a sunset flip for two. Badd hits a high knee, but Dog avoids a left-handed punch, and hits a German suplex. Dog hits a spinning heel kick. Dog hits a cross-body from the top, but Teddy runs in for the DQ. Teddy tries to unmask Dog and gets laid out, but Badd then lays Dog out with a left hand. Match was getting good before the finish.
-Eric Bischoff goes into Missy Hyatt's locker room for an interview. Eric's good buddy Jason Hervey sends Missy some flowers and a card. Eric gets real excited when he hears the shower running and goes in. Missy freaks out when she sees him, and throws stuff at Eric until he leaves.
-Match 7: Big Josh (w/country girls) VS Blackblood [Lumberjack Match]
-Blackblood is announced as being from "a little town in France". Blackblood gets the early jump, and tosses Josh outside on the heel side, where they beat Josh up, then the face side, where they don't. Josh fights back and hits a dropkick. Josh sends Blackblood over to the heel side, where they let Blackblood rest. Blackblood regains control and knocks Josh out on the face side. The faces let Josh rest, which pisses off the heels. Blackblood works Josh over as the lumbjerjacks brawl.
Josh takes control as the fight outside subsides. Josh runs into a boot from Blackblood, and the lumberjack fight re-ignites. Blackblood grabs the ax, but Dustin Rhodes hits Blackblood in the knee with Josh's axe handled, and Josh gets a small package for the win. This was pretty crappy.
-Eric Bischoff interviews Kevin Sullivan and the One Man Gang, who look appropriately dressed for an Alice Cooper. Sullivan tells a story about him and Gang meeting a woman with a third eye.
-Match 8: One Man Gang (w/Kevin Sullivan) VS El Gigante (w/little men)
-OMG avoids a charge and hits a flying clothesline, that knocks Gigante to his knees. OMG hits Gigante with a wrench. OMG slowly works Gigante over, and Sullivan adds a couple cheap shots. 747 splash only gets two for OMG. OMG goes up, but gets tossed. Sullivan tries to give OMG powder, but Gigante kicks the powder into OMG's face, and finishes with a clothesline from behind. This sucked, but that's no surprise.
-Video recap of the Sting/Koloff feud.
-Match 9: Nikita Koloff VS Sting [Russian Chain Match]
-Sting immediately takes Koloff outside. Sting manages to get to two corners before Nikita breaks his momentum. Sting pulls Koloff shoulder-first into the ring post. Nikita chokes Sting with the chain. Sting uses the chain to low-blow Nikita, which the crowd loves. Nikita drags Sting by the collar around his wrist to three corners, before Sting breaks the momentum with a kick to the gut. They hit two corners simultaneously, then give each other Flair uppercuts. They rush to hit corner three at the same time. Koloff prevents Sting from getting to corner four, and hits the Russian Sickle. Sting dives at Koloff, knocking both men into the fourth corner. Since Nikita was on the inside, he touched the corner first for the win. A regular match could have been good, but this got bogged down by the gimmick, and by ignoring the rules about breaking the momentum when it was convenient for the finish. Sting bashes Koloff's nuts with the chain one more time before leaving.
-JR & Tony, then a video package, preview the World title match.
-The cage is still being set up. "WE WANT FLAIR!..."
-Match 10 for the Vacant WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Barry Windham VS WCW United States Champion Lex Luger [Cage Match]
-Since Flair is still in possession of the Big Gold, the "World title belt" is another belt with a cheap and ugly name plate slapped on it that says "World Champion". That's pretty terrible. "WE WANT FLAIR! WE WANT FLAIR! WE WANT FLAIR!"
Very slow start. These two seem as disinterested in this match as the crowd is. Lex blocks a kick, and hits an atomic drop. They trade sleepers. Lex hits a DDT for two. Windham tosses Luger off the top, and drops a knee to Luger's face for two. Windham goes up, but misses the big elbow, as the crowd forgets to chant for Flair for a little bit. Luger hits a series of clotheslines for two. Luger gets Windham in the Torture Rack, but Windham fights out, and hits a belly-to-back suplex.
Windham fights off a superplex, and hits a flying clothesline for two. Windham hits an awkward missile dropkick for two. Harley Race & Mr. Hughes come down to the ring. Hughes distracts Windham, while Race tells Luger that "now's the time". Luger clobbers Windham from behind, and wins the title with a piledriver. The crowd actually pops a bit for the finish. Luger leaves with Race & Hughes, as the crowd can't seem to figure out that this is a heel turn. Match started off bad, got good, then ended with a weak sauce finish and an un-needed heel turn by Luger.
-Match 11: Paul E. Dangerously & Arn Anderson VS WCW World Tag Team Champion Steiner & Missy Hyatt [Cage Match]
-Dick Slater & Dick Murdoch kidnap Missy before she gets to the ring. Rick catches AA in mid-air with a slam. Rick picks up AA, but Paul actually hits Rick from behind. Paul gives AA one of Paul's boots, but Rick nails AA as he comes off the top. Rick destroys Paul, pinning him with a clothesline. What a main event.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Absolutely awful show, especially booking wise. The matches were mostly bad, and even the ones that looked to be getting good were hampered by either a sudden finish, bad booking, or both. Boring wrestling + horrible booking = one of the worst shows I have ever seen.
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