WWE Extreme Rules 2012

-4/29/12

-From Chicago, IL

-Match 1: Kane VS Randy Orton [Falls Count Anywhere]
 -Fast start as they exchange strikes before Kane knocks Orton off the turnbuckles and to the floor with an uppercut. That gets two. It's Kane. In the ring. With the lead pipe, but Orton steals it, and uses it to take control. Into the crowd they go, where Orton slugs Kane down, then hits a knee to the face for two. Kane slams Orton on the exposed concrete for two. Yeah, you really want a top guy with recent back problems taking that kind of bump.

Kane follows that up with a low dropkick (!) for two. They make their way out to the staging area, where Orton hits a dropkick for two. RKO is blocked, and Kane hits a big boot for two. They head backstage to where guys who aren't booked on the show hang out to watch it. Ryder jumps Kane, who no-sells his punches, but that allows Orton to hit the 3.0 for two.

Kane fights back, and a cameraman goes down. Kane hits Orton in the head with a case for two. Back into the arena, where Orton takes control. Orton pounds on Kane in the corner (w/YES! chants accompaning every strike). Orton hits the snap powerslam, and grabs a chair from underneath the ring. Orton hits some fairly weak chairshots on Kane's back. They go back outside, where Orton preps the announce table. Orton hits the draping DDT off the table to the floor, for two.

Kane counters the RKO by shoving Orton into the ringpost, and gets two off that. Back in the ring, Orton crotches Kane on the top turnbuckle to block the flying clothesline. Orton hits his dad's finisher for two. Kane counters the RKO again, and hits a chokeslam for two. Kane goes for a tombstone, but Orton slides out and finishes with the RKO on a chair at 16:46. Good opener. Not techincally sound, but enough was happening where the near-seventeen minutes went by pretty quick.

-Johnny Ace & Eve toast to change, but Johnny is interrupted by a phone call from Triple H.

-Match 2: Brodus Clay (w/The Funkasaurettes & Hornswoggle) VS Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger)
 -Crowd is pro-Ziggler. Ziggler goes for a single-leg, but Brodus shrugs him off. Dolph send Brodus outside, where he takes a clothesline from Swagger. Brodus fights back (drawing boos). Ziggler avoids a knee lift, and hits the famouser for two. Ziggler stops another comeback with a dropkick for two. Ziggler gets the sleeper, but Brodus fights him off.

Ziggler pounds away in the corner, but stupidly tries a suplex. Brodus throws him off, then drops an interfering Swagger. Brodus shrugs off another sleeper attempt, catches Ziggler with the headbutt to the stomach, and finishes with the big splash at 5:17. About three-times longer than the usual Brodus outing, but he did OK. Really hard to have a bad match with Ziggler who, in a just world, would be ruling Smackdown.
-On the pre-show, Teddy spins the wheel to assign the stipulation for the I-C title match. It lands on tables match. Cody blames Teddy for that.

-Match 3 for the Intercontinental Championship: Big Show [c] VS Cody Rhodes [Tables Match]
 -Michael Coles lists HBK & Owen as people who, like Show, have won all five current WWE titles. Yes, I remember HBK & Owen's long and storied U.S. title reigns. Show chops Cody, then hits the BIGGEST. BACKDROP. EVER. Show sets up a table. Cody hits a chop block, but Show blocks a kick, and tosses Cody around some more. Show sets a table up in the corner, but Cody springs off it with the disaster kick. NICE!

Cody tries to fight back, but it doesn't go well. Show throws Cody into the ring. Cody dropkicks Show, who steps off the apron...through a table to lose the title at 4:36. Cody's reaction when the ref calls for the bell is tremendous. Match was Show beating the shit out of Cody before losing on a fluke.

-Show, ever the sportsman, spears Cody, then chokeslams him through a table. Crowd can't decide whether they want to boo Show, or they want to see him kill Cody. Show gorilla presses Cody over the top, through another table before leaving. Cody refuses help, drawing a mixed reaction for it.

-BUY EDGE'S DVD!

-Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan, who lists the advantages he has over Sheamus. Will Bryan regain the world title? YES! YES! YES! A.J. is shown stalking him in the background.

-Match 4 for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus [c] VS Daniel Bryan [2 out of 3 Falls]
 -HUGE boos for Sheamus during his entrance.

-FIRST FALL: Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick right off the bat, but Bryan avoids it. Bryan tries for the YES lock, but Sheamus counters, and works on Bryan's arm. Chain wrestling for a bit. Sheamus catches Bryan in mid-air, and hits a Finlay roll. Sheamus catches Bryan with the Texas Cloverleaf, but Bryan makes it to the ropes. Bryan does his corner flip, and hits Sheamus with a flying clothesline. They go outside. Bryan dives off the apron, but gets caught, and Sheamus DRIVES Bryan into the barricade.

Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan shakes the ropes to knock Sheamus down. Big "Daniel Bryan/18 Seconds" dueling chants as Bryan works on Sheamus' leg. Bryan uses some of his old RoH tricks, stretching Sheamus in very uncomfortable positions. Sheamus hits some elbows to escape, but Bryan catches him with a knee to the gut, and a low dropkick for two. They exchange strikes, and Bryan gets a roll-up for two. Bryan chokes Sheamus in the ropes, and HE HAS 'TILL FIVE.

Bryan works the arm, but Sheamus fights back, getting boo'd for it. Sheamus hits the Irish Hand Granade, and follows up with a fallaway slam for two. Bryan manages to catch Sheamus with a kick to the head for two. Sheamus blocks a top rope hurricarana, and hits a flying shoulder block for two. Bryan low-bridges Sheamus, but Sheamus counters a suicide dive with a forearm. Sheamus goes for the Celtic Cross, but Bryan rolls out for two.

Sheamus fights out of two attempts at the YES lock, but rams his shoulder into the ringpost while trying to attack Bryan. Bryan goes after the injured shoulder, but doesn't stop kicking Sheamus after Sheamus grabs the ropes, and gets DQ'd for it at 14:27 to put Sheamus up 1-0. DQ's are EXTREME!

-SECOND FALL: Bryan quickly applies the YES lock. Sheamus fights it, but passes out at 16:37 to tie the match at 1.

-THIRD FALL: Bryan orchestrates the crowd into "YES/NO" chants while doctors examine Sheamus. Bryan runs right into a Brogue kick...for two. Bryan hits a buzzsaw kick for two. They fight on the second turnbuckle, leading to Bryan missing the diving headbutt. Sheamus turns the tide, hitting the Irish Curse, then finishing with the Brogue kick at 22:54 to retain the title. Match was really good, as these two have had great chemistry even when main event heel Sheamus was squashing mid card babyface Bryan. That is what WrestleMania should have been.

-Santino calls Khali over to watch Ryback squash two jobbers with him. The jobbers getting to cut promos before getting killed is a great gimmick.

-Match 5: Ryback VS 2 Jobbers [Handicap Match]
 -What do you THINK happened? Ryback demolishes the jobbers as the crowd, catching on, chants "Goldberg". Ryback pins both jobbers at 1:50. Breaking his leg might actually be the best thing that could have happened to Ryback, as of the former Nexus, only Barrett & Otunga are non-jobbers, and most of the others aren't on the roster.

-CM Punk is happy to be in Chicago.

-Match 6 for the WWE Championship: CM Punk [c] VS Chris Jericho [Chicago Street Fight]
 -Only Jericho would wear a lite brite jacket to a street fight. Punk whoops on Jericho to start. Kendo stick shot draws an "ECW" chant. Jericho uses the ref as a shield, and pokes Punk's eyes to turn the tide. Surprised more heels don't use the ref like that. Jericho exposes on of the turnbuckles. Punk fires back with chops, but misses the high knee. Jericho taunts Punk's sister, earning a slap to the face.

Punk goes nuts, slamming Jericho on the announce table covering, then setting up the Spanish announce table. Jericho counters a piledriver with a backdrop on the floor, then hits Punk in the back with a monitor. Punk counters a rear chinlock with a side suplex. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline, but slips, and Jericho lays waste to Punk with the kendo stick.

Jericho takes too long talking smack, and gets small packaged for two. Jericho hits an enziguiri to regain control, however. Jericho grabs a cold one and dumps it on Punk. Jericho stops to do it again, allowing Punk to fight back. Punk hits the high knee ---> bulldog combo. Punk crotches Jericho with the kendo stick, and calls for the GTS. They fight off each other's finisher, and Punk hits a snap powerslam for two.
Punk goes up top for the Savage elbow, but Jericho crotches him. Punk fights off a superplex, and hits the Savage elbow for two. Jericho fights out of the GTS, and hits his bulldog version. Punk blocks the Lionsault, but Jericho again avoids the GTS, then throws Punk head-first into a chair for two. Jericho hits a sloppy Code Breaker, and applies the Walls of Jericho.

Ropes can't cause a break, but a blast from a fire extinguisher does. Punk knocks Jericho onto the Spanish announce table, and hits the Shane McMahon elbow. That gets two. Punk applies the Anaconda Vice, but Jericho uses the kendo stick to escape. Punk grabs a chair, but Jericho hits a Code Breaker for two. Jericho goes for his own GTS, but Punk counters, catapults Jericho into the exposed turnbuckle, and finishes it himself with the GTS at 25:14. Great match that hit all the right notes. Perfect ending for this feud.

-Punk celebrates with friends and family. No Colt Cabana though.

-A new "Don't Try This at Home" spot.

-ON THE PRE-SHOW: Santino retains the U.S. title against the Miz.

-Beth tells the Bellas she's going to take the Divas title back. Eve says it won't happen because Beth isn't cleared. Nikki will still defend the title against a mystery opponent that is not Kharma.

-Match 7 for the WWE Divas' Championship: Nikki Bella [c] (w/Brie) VS ????
 -Crowd wants Kharma, but it's not to be. Instead, it's Layla, making her first appearance since last year's Extreme Rules. Brie gets a cheap shot behind the ref's back, allowing Nikki to work on Layla's injured knee. Layla hits a cross-body, but stops to take care of Brie, and gets caught by Nikki. Bellas try Twin Magic, but Layla catches Brie with the Layout, and pins her to win the title at 2:30. Usual diva fare.

-Matt Striker asks Johnny Ace what he spoke about with Triple H. Johnny won't disclose, but Triple H will be at RAW.

-Match 8: Brock Lesnar VS John Cena [Extreme Rules Match]
 -Dueling "Let's Go Cena!/Cena Sucks!" chants before the match. Cena brings back the chain from his Thuganomics days. Lesnar busts Cena open right off the bat with elbows to the head. Lesnar uses some UFC-style side mounted punches to work on the cut. Doctors take a look at Cena's wound. Cena charges, but gets mauled by Lesnar. Lesnar kicks Cena out of the ring.

Lesnar charges into a back elbow, but counters the AA with a couple rolling Germans. Cena fights out of a third, but flying shoulder block knocks Lesnar into the ref. Lesnar continues to maul Cena, and goes for a khimura. Lesnar works on the arm. Lesnar grabs the chain, but throws it down, rather than use it. Lesnar ties Cena's legs up with the chain, then hits a big running clothesline when Cena gets to his feet.

Lesnar uses the chain to lock Cena into an EXTREME tree of woe, and pounds away. Cena tries to fight back, but gets thrown into the steps. Lesnar, freak that he is, picks Charles Robinson up. By Charles' belt. WITH ONE HAND. Lesnar hits the F-5, but that takes Robinson out again. A second ref slides in, only gets two, and Lesnar kills the ref.

Lesnar muscles the steps into the ring, and taunts Cena while standing on them. Cena tries to fight back, but gets caught with the khimura. Cena muscles Brock into a spinebuster on the steps. Cena goes for the leg drop off the top, but Lesnar avoids it. Lesnar runs, and jumps off the steps to clobber Cena, sending them both flying, and Brock almost lands on his head. Lesnar may have hurt his leg, but he hops up, and LAUGHS.

Lesnar tries it again, but Cena punches him in the head with the chain, which opens Brock up. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin at 17:38. This was AWESOME. Completely unlike anything we've seen in WWE before. Double juice? In an era where HELL IN A CELL has no blood? Modern day Sting VS Vader formula, which always rules? If you haven't, you need to see this match ASAP. Worth the DVD purchase on its own.

-Cena cuts a post-match promo implying that he's taking some time off. Which would be directly contradicted the next night on RAW.

-FINAL THOUGHTS: Man, Chicago has been lucky with the last two PPVs they've gotten. First last year's Money in the Bank and then this one. It was a three match show, and all three delivered in spades. I actually don't mind Cena going over, as it plays into the story of Brock being ridiculously arrogant, and thinking he'll just waltz over everyone in WWE. Brock used his physical gifts to demolish Cena, but lost because he spent more time taunting Cena than trying to finish him (well, that and a ref bump).